xcentrefolds's Xanga

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:49:09 GMT

From the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now that I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

You call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
I'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all that's mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

My time

I'm about to see a million things
I thought I'd never see before and I
I'm about to do all of the things
I've dreamed of and
I don't even miss you at all

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 19:09:57 GMT

You officially just lost all my respect for you. Honestly, do you expect me to ever want to fucking talk to you again if you break up with me through someone else. And with the excuse 'you'll say something mean' is pretty fucking lame. Had you said 'something mean' I could have easily retaliated with something better, and you know that.

Looking back, I dont know what I could have seen in you, or you in me for that matter. I mean, GOSH! I had FRIENDS! :O! Cause you know, every person I talk to I'm secretly sleeping with behind your back. You were jealous of every goddamn thing I did. I could hardly hang out with my friends without you having to object in some way. Then you sent me that text message 'I've decided to give and trust you' well, you certainly didnt go back on that! You never trusted me. I know that. Do you remember when you, Britani and I were on the phone and I made you guys hold on while I went and took another call? Well I heard you when I came back. Britani said 'You don't trust her, do you?' and you answered with 'No.' I dont know if that was for me or not, but it certainly seems to fit, don't you think? You refused to say anything in front of me and that bothered me. You wanted to know everything, but hid yourself.

I will admit, I did smile stupidly when those sweet little text messages came to my cellphone in the middle of the day. They did make me feel better about everything, I will admit that, but in all seriousness, was that just a distraction while you decided whether to break up with me YOURSELF or get someone else to?

You know what? Eventhough we broke up last night around ten or so - I'm already with someone else. Call me a whore, but you couldnt have not seen that coming. This time, we click. We live damn near next to eachother. I should have been the one to break up with you, I saw us cracking way before this happened.

Yeah so, I didnt make sure ALL My attention was focused on you. Sue me. I'm not going to put my life to the side and make you the center of the universe. You always made me into the villian, and for you to dislike Enola before actually meeting her was stupid. Yeah, yeah Rhianna made that sign, it was a joke. You're sensitive, I know that too. I find it funny that you'd make me tell you really everything, but yet not show me something like that but just go off and make those signs about Kelsey. Don't believe everything you hear.

AND, for you to make those signs about Kelsey was completely uncalled for. I know she said some things to you, and I explained it was because she was looking out for me, she did say some inappropriate things, but damn so did you. Let's get one thing straight Rape isn't Funny and I'm appauled. Why would you joke about something like that? How dare you call ANYONE immature. I think You've just proven yourself in this relationship to be The MOST immature person I've ever met. Grow up, good god, you fucking drama queen. I'm not in the mood to hear your lame retorts because you know what? When Chris told me you wanted to break up with me, I didn't really care. I was like alright. whatever.

It was nice when it began, but its a shame it came to a sorry fucking close. I'm not going to apologize, I learned that from Kelsey that when there's something that needs to be said, and its what you mean, don't apologize. She was right, friends are going to be there forever, while 'significant others' will not. Yeah, yeah go date Donnie or whoever the hell Britani wants you to date now, I don't care.

Tell me honestly, did you feel anything for me at all? It never quite felt like it. I did have a lot of fun with you, and I'm sorry if I wasn't up to your standards. Goodbye.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 17:52:56 GMT

+++++++++++ I'm going to Taste of Chaos in Two Days!
++ My parents are letting Mike Drive!
- we were going to take a limo, but it was too expensive
------ Mike has to get an adapter, otherwise we can't listen to CDs in his car (piece'a junk! xD)
- Quinn Allman + Facial hair = The Death of Me
+ I found my 'The Used' Shirt that I've been searching for!
- Still failing history
+ Brought up my grade in Math
------- Havent seen Meliza in FOREVER
--------------- Haven't seen Amari either. I want to see her so badly. =\
+/- Who wants to go to a movie sometime?
++++++++++++ Katy Kloot is coming here on Wednesday! All are invited over at my place to watch some movies. Well, tell me if you're coming first but yano. Thursday night we're meeting. My room will be immaculate by that time -____-;
-------------------------- I can't go to taste of chaos if I dont make my room spotless in two days. Fuck, man.
+ Found cute baby pictures!
- Kelsey called me fat :(
-------- Made Lyndsay cry last night. I haven't felt that awful in a long time.
----- Mahalia isn't coming to the Sacramento Shooow. -cries-
------ Enola isn't either >:O!
--- Enola probably can't come see me until summer or something
---- Kelsey might not be coming to San Fran tomorrow >:O!!

Yeah. enough of my crap. Later.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 03:01:32 GMT

Lets see. hmmm.

+ Quinn Allman and Brian Molko? Yes? No? Perhaps. I'm still undecided. Waddaya think?
- my grades came.
- I was caught cutting class. >\
+ Ron hasnt contacted me at all
- Mike's car is broken
- Mike's dad's car is broken
- theres a chance I might not be able to go to Taste of Chaos =X
+ I'm probably going to Taste of Chaos because Geoff can also take me.
+ Enola might be coming up to come with me.
---- Carolyn is a douche bag.

The end.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 00:12:15 GMT

Well Fuck. Not much to say here. >\ I want a Wendy's Hamburger like nobody's business. God, I love Placebo. And Ewan&Nicole singing 'Come What May' What a pretty song.

What's to say about my life? Well...

- Saturday Night I was Molested
+ Saturday Night, I met a new friend
+ My history teacher played a cool trick on us.
- Spent a good portion of last night crying
+ Tomorrow, I can call anywhere in the US free on my home line. Score.
+ This summer, there's a good chance I'm going to go Louisiana
+ Kelsey, Kristina & Jocelyn are coming to visit this summer.
++++ I met Smith on the Twenty-first.
- I'm beginning to fight a lot more with Kelsey

Not much otherwise. Guess I'll be hanging out with Lex, Mike & Rob this weekend for movienight (I think Rob is anyway!) and Geoff if I'm lucky =D yup. mhm. Thats about it.

-Moi

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 01:17:29 GMT

For the first time in a few weeks, I began listening to AFI again this morning. I feel, I 'm not sure how to say - complete, perhaps? I met Smith today too. Yes, everyone, I met Smith Puget. I just about shit my pants. So yeah. The end of my update for now.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 17:33:33 GMT

Wow, I'm really really emo today. -le sigh- Wow, I suck. End of story.

I'm listening to Dido. o_o it makes me feel all sad and contemplative. I dont like being like this. I want to call Jadey or Lyndsay or something. But the both of them wont be up for another few hours I'm guessing. Wow. Some dumbfuck called my house really early today and woke me up. I could have strangled them. T_T I suck at life.

I feel really bad about things. HOLY SHIT. DSI just came on. Okay. No longer emo. Now I feel like hoping around like a fucking idiot singing along. Eek. Lyndsay needs to listen to DSI. I'm always mentioning them and she's like O.O! >>;; Wee. I need more shit in LJ userinfo. I suck. LE SIGH. I want to have sex on someone's car. o__o again. >>; Wee! I'm going to go squeal and call Leah. My dad filled up my calling card with like... three thousand minutes. so I own. <3

Going to go do that. yupper.

Protège Moi

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 05:52:37 GMT

Sing for your Lover ♥

Anyway, Wow Today is Mr. Molko's birthday. I'm a genius and managed to gather up a good amount of signatures on his sad little piece of binderpaper. Of course, I'm never sending it to him because Jesse, Hot-Emo-Boy, Some senior boy named Patrick, and Vinnie signed it, and of course, seeing as I am the stalker, I'm going to frame it and... maybe if I'm feeling lucky, I'll send Brian a COPY xD <3

Wow, I'm addicted to Dashboard Confessional, is that depressing? Yes, yes I believe so. Tonight Darin and Mikey were to be married and I feel just terrible going out with Lelah & Meliza instead, but thats okay. We were in Longs and this really hot dude with a red tie and MM shirt told me he liked mine. (I was wearing my 'Despair Faction' top) and I was like :D You like AFI? and then gave me a hug. He was delicious. Also, he had some chic with him who was wearing a tutu and rainbow wristband, and another tall blonde boy with dark purple lipstick and fairy wings. I wanted to hug 'Hot dude in MM shirt' so badly, and it's quite a shame I didn't get to.

Ah, but there is luck for me, yet! Jessica requested my screen name and email address, which means I may be lucky, very lucky indeed! You know what makes me rather happy? I'm part of the Gay Straight Alliance and no one bothers me about my sexuality any longer, as they did in Middle School. High School is quite nice now that I think about it. The work may be a bit more, but, nothing I can't handle.

Well, until then, I'm going to go contemplate what might possibly be the actual name of 'Hot dude in MM shirt' or think of a better name for him. Such as Marius. How I adore that name. Hmm, this I must ponder. <3 more later, I should hope.

♥ Moi

Friday, October 29, 2004

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 00:59:09 GMT

Such an unhappy little person I am. Hmm, Halloween in three days I believe. Becca's house for the party, fun stuff. Can't wait. Woo. Went down to Boswell's today and bought a bunch of crap to make up my costume. Saw Hayden <3 ^^; My dad met his babysitter xDD he has a babysitter. now thats funny. So woo. I <3 Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Micko (Jack Fairy in VG) Wow, I am so addicted to the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack. that is by far the best movie. Very very best.

now, im off to do something constructived... like nothing

♥

Monday, October 25, 2004

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 20:52:27 GMT

Currently in Seventh Period (digital design) finished all my projects for the most part. Made these logo thingers, pretty fun I suppose. Mine was "Strawberry Gashes" (like the Jack off Jill song) and its a rather obscure shop for tattoo artists and piercings and records, CDs, Tapes, Posters. Yano, Music merch. Pretty fun I'd say. Lexi made one too (best friend; has same class sixth) and Judy too (other friend; third period) I believe Judy is making one where you can make things (like build a bear) and Lexi is doing one with a bunch of band merchandise, kind of like mine only mine is *so* much more awesome :P ^^;; Yup.

Let's see, I got the Sims 2 and made pretty much every person I've ever passed on the street. How lame. WOO. Okay, Everybody, go rent velvet goldmine. Best movie ever. Jack Fairy is a babe, I decorated my notebook with his pictures and everything o__o; He and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I'm tellin ya. They're so gorgeous xDD <3 WEE. i'm going to go add people now. And join a bunch of totally possom blog ringers. yup.

♥